Tuesday - March 13, 2007

Satan's Salute of the Week

 Or I'm Speechless

As you know, the primary job of Satan, is to sow discord, disharmony, war, famine, and stupidity across the globe.  It seems Satan's minions have been working overtime in Cincinnati:

Ricky Lackey has six children on the way.

Just don’t call them sextuplets – they’re all with different women.

When Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Melba Marsh asked Lackey during sentencing Friday on a charge of attempted theft how many children he had, the 25-year-old said, “None, but I have six on the way.”

A stunned Marsh tried to clarify. “Are you marrying a woman with six children?” she asked.

“No, I be concubining,” he said. A concubine is a woman who cohabitates with a man to whom she is not married.

Prosecutors said Lackey is expectant father of six children with six different women. The women all are expected to deliver between August and October.

Lackey’s lawyer, Stephen Wenke, stopped his client from saying more.

Later, Marsh said she wasn’t sure how to respond so she let the issue drop since it wasn’t relevant to the proceedings.

Lackey, a music producer who told Marsh he was on the cusp of a $2 million deal that would net him $300,000 upfront, was convicted Friday on a reduced charge of attempted theft.

Prosecutors say the Avondale man defrauded U.S. Bank out of $3,975 by depositing empty envelopes into ATM machines, claiming they contained cash, and depositing bad checks. Once the accounts were falsely inflated, Lackey withdrew all the money before the bank could detect the fraud.

Lackey has repaid the money, according to court records.

Marsh ordered no other sentence since restitution had been paid.

As Lackey left the courtroom Friday, a group of teenage girls there for another case appeared to know Lackey. “Oh, there’s Ricky Lackey!” one swooned.

Lackey shrugged the attention off with one word and a wave of his hand. “Fans,” he said.

 

Theft, polygamy (or is that concubining), and madness all rolled into one.  I think Ricky has the making of a fine politician.